The Practice of Practical Preparation
One of the Five Pillars of Preparation
With football in midseason, baseball pennants on the line, and long-sleeve weather returning to my morning runs, I know the holidays are right around the corner.
After Kris died, I dreaded this time of year—not only because family gatherings reminded us she wasn’t there, but because she had created so much of the magic that made our holidays special. Our home looked like a Hallmark movie set, filled with her creativity and care. When she was gone, I felt obligated to recreate that magic but didn’t feel confident or creative enough to pull it off.
Over time, I learned I wasn’t alone. Many surviving spouses—especially those with young kids—struggle to take over the roles their partner once handled. Whether it’s paying bills, managing daily routines, or keeping family traditions alive, there’s often a sense of dread about “getting it wrong” or trying to do things exactly the same way.
Because Katie and I both lived through this, we made Practical Preparation one of our Five Pillars of Preparation. It’s about more than organizing documents or finances—it’s about understanding how your household runs and feeling confident that you could handle it if you ever had to.
Here’s one simple way to start: make a list of the responsibilities each of you handles, then each trade one job for a short time—maybe a week or a month.
There are two easy ways to do this:
Do it together.
Some tasks—like paying bills—are best done side-by-side. The partner who usually handles the job can walk the other through which accounts to use, due dates, and where to find passwords. This approach might also be good for jobs that scare or intimidate you the most and where you’d welcome some guidance.Do it solo.
For tasks that don’t require precision or a strict process—like grocery shopping or meal prep—try going all in on your own. The key? No judging. If Big Breakfast Tuesday replaces Taco Tuesday, so be it. The goal is experience, not perfection or duplication.
Afterward, talk about how it went. What worked well? What could be easier next time? Each round helps you both become more capable and confident.
This kind of “role rehearsal” isn’t just for chores. Try it for special traditions too—planning birthdays, buying gifts, writing the annual family letter, or decorating for the holidays. It’s also a good exercise for parental roles. If one parent is always the go-to for kids asking about friend advice, defer all those conversations for a month to the other parent.
If you really want to take your preparation to the next level, consider purchasing and completing The Family Manual. It’s designed to hold all the essential details your spouse or loved ones would need if you were ever gone—passwords, bank account information, insurance details, financial plans, medical contacts, even pet care and household routines. Having everything organized in one place removes the guesswork and anxiety that so often follow a loss. From bills and important documents to daily household routines, The Family Manual turns uncertainty into calm and gives your loved ones a clear roadmap when life takes an unexpected turn.
While it might not seem as essential as a will or life insurance policy, practicing how to run your household independently—and keeping those details organized—can make a world of difference. It costs little but gives you something invaluable—peace of mind that, together, you’re ready for whatever life brings.
Ready to Start Practicing?
🗂️ Get The Family Manual: Learn more about how The Family Manual can simplify household management and give your family the roadmap they’ll need.
📘 Download free tools: Visit our Free Downloads page to find checklists and worksheets to help you get organized.
💬 Take action: Over dinner this week, make a list of who handles what in your household—and plan a short “role swap” to try it out. You might be surprised how empowering it feels to prepare together.
Best regards,
Corey
