The Message I Never Expected to Receive

Everyone has a story about how they got to where they are.

Here’s mine.

One night in June 2015, I returned home late from a work trip to Orlando after a long series of weather delays. When the plane finally touched down in Portland after midnight, I turned my phone on, expecting to see a message from my daughters about the Imagine Dragons concert they had gone to that night.

Instead, I saw this from my wife:

“So I’m being admitted to the hospital. Give me a call when you land. Room 207a.”

That wasn’t the message I was expecting. And in that moment, I had no idea how much life was about to change.

What started as a suspected case of pancreatitis turned into something much worse. Two procedures later, the diagnosis became clear: pancreatic cancer.

Doctors believed they had caught it early enough and recommended a complex surgery, the Whipple procedure, that could give her a real chance at long-term survival. I remember sitting in the waiting room after they took her back, holding onto that hope.

30 minutes later, the pager they had given me buzzed.

15 minutes later, I was sitting across from the surgeon.

5 minutes later, I found myself alone in a small room, in tears, with a sense of despair.

The surgeon told me they had found evidence the cancer had already spread to her liver, so they stopped the surgery immediately. It was now stage four, and he told me this would take her life.

Fourteen months later, at age 48, I became a widower.

Going into that season, I thought I was prepared. Not for the grief. I knew that would be hard. But for everything else. The logistics. The decisions. The responsibilities.

I was wrong.

Very quickly, I realized I was in over my head. There were things I did not know existed. Decisions I did not know how to make. Processes that felt confusing, overwhelming, and at times completely unnecessary, but unavoidable.

I did the best I could. But I made mistakes. A lot of them.

It was not until I joined a widows and widowers support group that I began to understand something important. It was not just me.

People shared their stories, their frustrations, their regrets, their lessons learned. And over and over again, I found myself thinking: “I wish I had known that.”

After remarrying, Katie and I continued to be part of that community. And even now, we still hear the same things. Different people. Same struggles. Same avoidable problems.

That is what led us to create Prepare Your Affairs.

Not because we had all the answers. But because we had lived through the consequences. Most people do not avoid this because they do not care. They avoid it because:

• It feels overwhelming

• They do not know where to start

• Or they assume they will have time later

If you have ever had the thought, “We should probably get this stuff together someday,” join the club. That is exactly where most people are.

The difference is, some people eventually take the first step. If you are ready to do that, even just a small step, we are here to help.

One simple place to start is by getting a sense of how prepared you really are. We have created a short End-of-Life Readiness Quiz that walks you through some of the key areas most people overlook.

You can access it here: https://www.affairsinorder.com/free-downloads

All the best,

Corey