Conversations We Wish We’d Had Sooner — Stan’s Story
Our latest ‘Til Death Do We Plan guest, Stan Lockhart, lost his wife, Becky, in 2015. Becky wasn’t just his partner in life — she was also a history-making politician who served 16 years in Utah’s legislature, the last four years as Utah’s first and only female Speaker of the House. Her sudden death at age 46 made headline news across the state.
You might expect that someone so public and accomplished would have left behind a detailed plan for “what if.” But the truth is… Stan and Becky only spoke a couple of times about death. Short, simple conversations — nothing too heavy.
And yet, after Becky’s passing, those brief talks gave Stan surprising guidance. They became anchors in his grief and helped him make decisions about his future.
However, some of life’s hardest lessons come in the quiet moments after a loss — the moments when we wish we had asked one more question, shared one more thought, or had one more conversation with someone we love.
Stan’s instructive story is a reminder that we don’t always know which conversations will matter most — until the day comes when they can’t happen anymore.
🎥 Following are helpful links to various parts of the interview:
0:55 Meeting Becky
01:48 Introduction to Politics
02:58 Symptoms Began
05:39 Good News/Bad News – The Diagnosis
10:33 There is No Handbook
16:04 God’s Tender Mercies
18:09 The “What if I die?” Conversation from Years Earlier
20:40 Widow’s Fog
22:16 Decision and Journey to Remarry
30:10 If You had a Chance for a Do-Over
38:06 Be More Deliberate About Death
41:31 Know Who Your Support Team Is
The Lessons We Can Take from Stan
Stan’s openness offers three big takeaways for all of us:
Don’t wait for the “right” time — It rarely comes. Start small and keep the conversation going over time.
Document the details — Memories can fade, but a written plan will speak for you when you can’t.
Talk about more than money — Values, traditions, and personal wishes matter just as much as financial planning.
These conversations can feel awkward at first, but they are an act of love — a gift to the people who will carry on after us.
Why This Matters for Your Family
Stan’s story isn’t just about grief; it’s about preparation, love, and honoring your partner’s wishes. The more we talk, the more we ease the burden for those left behind. And we give them something even more important: peace of mind.
Watch the full conversation with Stan here: https://youtu.be/l2jKUc8sY1s
Best Regards,
Corey
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